Reverberations
I come from long line of broken marriages. Other than my brother, I can’t think of a single instance in my family tree where faithfulness in marriage can be found. I don’t say that to judge those in my family, just saying that it’s part of my heritage.
That’s why, in part, I’m deeply convicted about seeing marriage be what Yahweh intended, and to give my daughters a real and lasting biblical view of marriage. To that end, I had, until today, intentionally avoided explaining divorce with my six year old. But, as all kids do, she finally realized that something was amiss. She was writing notes of thanks to those who sent her birthday gifts when she sensed it was a little weird that daddy’s mom and dad live in different states. She’s a lot brighter than I was at six, so after I made sure my sweet wife was ok with me bringing the concept of divorce into our child’s thinking, I had the talk.
I explained that when daddy was a little boy, his mommy and daddy decided they did not want to be married any more. Her eyes got as big as the moon and her mouth dropped. I explained that that’s why they live in different states. I also had to explain that they both decided to marry new people. At that she got a bit indignant and informed me that such a move was wrong and they’re still married to their first husband/wife. She had no idea of the theological depths of her words.
Part of me was really pissed off. It’s one thing that I had to deal with the divorce of my parents…but I now I had to see their sinful choices reverberating a generation later and landing upon my own daughter. It seems we can never overestimate the lasting impact of choosing paths that run from Jesus.
The greater part of me is so grateful for grace (not my daughter…the Lord’s character trait of grace…though I am thankful for Grace too). It’s by mercy that the wounds of divorce can heal, but it’s by grace that those same wounds can be used by God for good. I pray as my girls learn more of our shared heritage, they will also gain a God given desire for marital fidelity and vitality. I’m so thankful that my girls have the umbrella of marriage in their lives. I remember with crystal clarity the awkwardness I felt as a kid when I was around friends whose parents were both there, married and under the same roof. I’m thankful my daughters are not stained by that and I pray they never will be.
One ingredient in the deception of sin is the notion that sin just won’t have much impact, that somehow nothing will come of it. Nothing is farther than the truth. My parents broke covenant almost 30 years ago and today that sin came back to bite, in my heart and my daughter. Our first parents put aside faith in Yahweh for one action and all humanity fell. Reverberations are unending apart from grace and until Jesus returns.